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Ideas, People, Places, and Things in the Life of BB Iverson

For quite sometime now, I’ve felt as though each passing day has been worse than the day preceding it. That depressing feeling permeates my inner core, resulting in a stagnation of activity and an expectation of failure. This week has been especially taxing on my spirits.

First off, I went into the doctor to have an “ulcer” on my lower lip excised. The procedure was more invasive than I thought it would be. It required two stitches and left me with a stigma reminiscent of my acne-problematic puberty phase years ago. In fact, I felt so self-conscious that I wore a surgical mask to work that day. It wasn’t alarming to those who saw me, as wearing a mask is customary here in Taiwan when one has a cold. Everyone just thought I had a cold. I ended up telling the students I teach about it in the following days, because I didn’t want to wear the mask anymore while the wound healed. They were all very understanding and empathetic to my plight, as I await the test results of the biopsy.

Second, I have had several restless nights, due to a few reasons. Chief among those reasons is the anxiety I feel about waiting for the test results of my biopsy. I certainly hope it comes out benign, but I can’t help wondering what the cause of my problem was. A cold sore doesn’t last two months, as that one did. It has to have been caused by something else. Another reason I haven’t been able to sleep at night is because I’ve been drinking Coca-Cola this week. After having gone for the better part of six months without drinking hardly any of the soda, I drank some every day this week. It has been making me stay up late at night and unable to get a good night’s rest. Before, when I was drinking it daily, it didn’t have that effect on me. I guess enough time had passed to where it was out of my system and affecting me more intensely.

Third, I ran over a dog two days ago. That morning, I made the decision to drive my car to work, instead of my scooter, because I thought it might rain. When I arrived at the school, there were hundreds of students milling about. I drove slowly toward the parking lot, through the throngs of teenagers. Several of them were looking at a cute little puppy dog on the pavement. I saw the dog and proceeded to make a wide arc around it, inching my car forward through the students. All of a sudden, my car went up and back down and I heard the squeal of a dog. Initially, I thought it was another dog that I hadn’t seen, as several of the students screamed out in terror. I stopped, opened up my door, and saw the puppy I had spotted previously crawl out from beneath my car to the side. I knew then what had happened. Obviously, he had run under the wheel of my car. He was bleeding from his mouth and I knew his time was up. Another teacher took him to the vet, as I had a class to attend (and my boss ordered me to go to the class). The puppy was dead upon arrival at the vet. It was very traumatic for me, as I really love dogs.

I cannot help but wonder why none of those students that were looking at the puppy tried to do anything to prevent the accident. It was as if they were just attending a movie and not able to interact with what they were witnessing. Any one of them could have shouted something out, as I was clearly watching them, or even grabbed the puppy before he ran under my car, as I was driving at a snail’s pace. However, they did nothing except shrieked at the sight of the puppy going under my car wheel. I’m still upset at that incident, wondering how I could have averted it. The only thing I can think of is if I had stopped my car completely when I saw the puppy, gotten out, and moved it far away from where cars were driving. But, who does that!? I take full responsibility for the poor dog’s death. Also, I need to pay the teacher back who paid the vet ($1500NT). I will do that tomorrow when I see her.

Four, my mother wrote me today and said my aunt Helen died this morning, after having had open-heart surgery a few weeks ago. Aunt Helen had gotten up about 6:30 a.m. this morning and walked to the bathroom. Then, she went back to bed. Her daughter, Mary Ann, had been staying with her throughout the night. Then, Mary Ann’s daughter came and stayed with her in the morning. When she checked on Aunt Helen, about 8:00 a.m., she was lying on the bed with her eyes open and fluid coming out of her mouth. The paramedics were called immediately. Her heart had stopped beating, but they got it going again. She was rushed to the hospital. The doctors said she had fluid in her lungs, and blood clots. They asked the family if she had a “living will” where she signified that she did not want any heroic efforts done to save her, if she was in this kind of situation. She did have this and so it was determined that they would let her pass away. At 84 years old, she lived a long and gratifying life. Now, she will be reunited with Ma and Pa, her parents, and whoever else is with them.

When I was a little boy, Aunt Helen took care of me when my parents needed a babysitter. I have nothing but fond memories of her. She gave the most genuine heartfelt loving hugs of any person I’ve ever met. Her life was full of challenges. Even before I was born, Helen was divorced from the man who fathered her five children. Essentially, Helen raised them alone. Obviously, she did a fantastic job, because they all turned out to be tremendous individuals. Even though they are older than me, I remember playing with Mark and Charlie when I was young. I have memories of playing in their bedroom, with big boxing gloves. Helen made sure they played safe, and that they always maintained good imaginations. When I decided to paint my boys’ room with vibrant colors, I did so because of how Helen had decorated her boys’ room with the same. On their wall were two large bright pink footprints. Multi-colored pillows and bedspreads were throughout. Helen believed in her children and I think that had a lot to do with how great they turned out to be.

Helen spent many years teaching English to foreign students, much like I am doing now. Her success in that career has given me hope through my most trying times. When I visited America last year, Helen told me that what I am doing is a wonderful thing. I really needed someone to tell me that and she came through. I will always love my aunt, Helen. She is definitely one-of-a-kind and a genuine angel, through and through.

Today is my school’s forty-fifth anniversary celebration. The school has grown in its almost half-a-decade to having over eight thousand students. It’s a very large school and, with the completion of yet another building by the end of the year, it will be even larger in the future.

The celebration is taking place as I write this entry. I am on a break from being a spectator, because they are handing out various plaques and awards right now to VIPs, local business people who have taken part in the financial aspects of this private school. With little overhead compared to American schools, there is a lot of money being made here. Sadly, I see none of it.

For the past five years, I have been working at this high school without a single raise. I make very little, too. Over the period of a year, I make about $800,000NT, which is currently the equivalent of less than $27,000US. The cost of living here in Taiwan is actually higher than in the US. Consequently, I am barely surviving with my wife and two children. In fact, I do not even have enough money to return to the US. In a way, I’m a prisoner of this country.

In my past jobs, I made far more than I make here. However, there is more to life than just money. I feel happy to be living here, because the lifestyle is simpler than it is in the US. Nobody tries to be better than the Joneses here. The Chinese people look at spending money on frivolities as foolish, which is the right attitude toward that practice. Also, they emphasize spending to the nth degree, whereas it’s all about spending in America.

Furthermore, I don’t have to worry about enormous medical costs here, like I would have to worry about in the US, given my current deteriorating physical condition. In Taiwan, there is a universal healthcare plan that covers most major illnesses. Whenever I am sick, I just go to any doctor, pay a small co-payment, and get right in. I seldom have to wait very long. I feel that the quality of medical care is on par with that of the US, as most of the doctors here are trained in US medical schools, and they seem to have the latest medicine and equipment. Although, I have to mention that some of the medicine for rare conditions are not covered under the universal healthcare plan. For that type of medicine, extra health insurance coverage is necessary, or an expensive premium is charged. All in all, it is a good situation for a country. Nobody is dying for lack of healthcare, like they are in my country.

Although I’ve been here for six and a half years, I don’t speak, read, or write Chinese. I still feel like I’m on one big extended vacation in a foreign country. Because of that illusion, and the fact that I really don’t like the sound of the Chinese language, I have put off learning the language. Ideally, I should learn Chinese, especially because I live in a country that speaks it. Also, it would open up a lot of doors for me which are currently closed. As China is becoming a major world power, being fluent in Chinese would prove to be a great asset. I know this, yet I am lazy and do nothing about it. I have only myself to blame.

Even though I like being a teacher, I really don’t like where I’m working. The chief reason for this is that I don’t feel appreciated. When I began here, the Principal (who is also a part-owner of the school) told me that he would place me over the English program here and make it the envy of the entire region. He did that because my wife and I presented a plan to him that would help make the English program into something great, something awe-inspiring. He also promised that I would get paid what I initially asked for, but wanted me to work for less during the first year and become familiar with the school and how things work here. The following year, when I asked to meet with him about his promise, he told my boss that he had forgotten about all he had told me the preceding year. He said that I could stay on as a teacher and get the same amount of money I got the first year.

I came close to quitting that year, very close, but I also was developing another plan. I see a great need for more English teaching that takes into consideration an individual student’s level and rate of learning. A teacher, with a whole class to worry about, cannot do that. A computer program can, though. To that end, I looked for a computer-based education system that would run on a network and could present subject matter in a comprehensive way. I found one that met my requirements, called Moodle. Because filling up the Moodle environment with pertinent English training material would take a long time, I decided that staying at this high school would be a good place to get that done.

I have a classroom all to myself, on the top floor of the highest building on campus. (Chih-yung is located on a hillside above Dajia, in the county of Taichung, Taiwan.) The classroom contains an individual computer monitor, testing console, and headset for each student. I have a big cushy executive chair behind a custom-built desk in the front of the classroom. At my control are a DVD player, a VCR, a tape recorder/player, a tuner, and a wireless microphone transmitter. In addition, I have two computers on the desk. One is a controlling computer, which allows me to talk to one or more students via a headset and facilitates in recording test answers. The other one is a presenting computer, which I can use to show the students anything I see on that monitor. The second computer is hooked up to the internet through the school’s network. It always isn’t a speedy connection, but gets the job done. Remember that a picture is worth a thousand words. On rare occasions, when I cannot explain something to the students in the “Tarzan English” I use to teach them, I google an image of what I’m trying to describe and they understand it in a flash.

The classroom where I teach is located on level six of a school building. On level four there are five computer labs with nice new computers for all the students who go through a computer course there. There are additional computer labs in another building. Normally, there are vacant computer labs. That means that when, and if, I get a computer-based English training program ready for testing, I can use one of the labs here at the school. Because I have such a great freedom to teach what I want and how I want, another reason for staying here, I can modify the program for better effectiveness.

So, aside from the lack of pay here and the occasional meddling in my teaching methods, a rare meddling for certain, I feel this would be a good place to develop my computer-based English training program. Throughout the past few years, I have saved thousands of websites and electronically-based volumes about English instruction. I now need to weed out the ineffective publications, sort the ones left, and add to them in a systematic way to the Moodle environment. I feel I’m not really infringing on any copyright, because I will be changing the method of all to what is required by Moodle, and implementing it in a way that I feel is the quickest and most effective way to learn English. Although I have less than seven years in English teaching, I feel that I know what works. And, that is a great deal more knowledge than ninety-nine percent of the English textbook authors out there.

Because I am responsible for which English textbooks I use in class each semester, I have spent countless hours reviewing textbooks provided to the schools I work at by publishers. Also, I have scoured the internet for effective English textbooks. Much to my disappointment, I haven’t found any that were as good as something I could write, given the time and desire. Therein lays the problem to my vision of developing a computer-based English training program, time and desire. I feel I have a high level of desire, but it obviously isn’t enough to set aside the things I am currently spending time on or I’d have completed the initial program by now. I haven’t even weeded out the good from the bad English training sources yet. That’s the first step, as well as the easiest. Following that is when the real work begins, putting the good stuff together and developing a method that I feel is effective. Instead of doing that, I choose to wile away the hours with my family, watching movies or TV shows, and playing computer games. The last activity, the computer game playing, is something that has just started eating up my time recently. I was an avid computer game player about fifteen years ago, and then quit them altogether, until now. My current favorite is NBA ’08. Actually, that is the only one I’m playing frequently. I’ve played some others as well, but that one is my staple.

I’m not getting any younger and I realize that old age is coming soon. Regrettably, I haven’t got a dime for retirement. I am dirt poor and I don’t have any kind of plan. The computer-based English training program could produce a nest egg for my family, but I need to develop it first. If it doesn’t sell, I don’t know what I’ll do. First things first, I need to find it within myself to do what must be done and get this program going. I estimate it will take a good two to three years to complete the program. Then, who knows how long to get it out there. I have two ideas upon this. One idea I had was to get it in the schools, so they can use it with their students. Another idea was to have it based online, so anyone from a secondary school student to an adult could go through it. With that second idea comes an add-on of having live teachers, via webcams, instruct small groups of students, not more than six per group, in live classes. That later addition was an idea presented to me by my wife, Shu Mei.

I must state here that Shu Mei hasn’t always been behind this idea. In fact, I’m quite unsure if she is now. She feels that one has to be famous before people will pay money to them for something in the education field here. That may be true now, but it doesn’t have to be in the future. If the world’s great inventors waited to become famous before they invented something, we’d probably still be living in caves now. But, I must live with my wife and hear her opinions. She hasn’t given me any emotional support on this and I wish desperately that she did. Maybe that could have been the extra jolt I needed to get it going. Again, I do not blame her for my laziness, because I could have done it despite her condemnation. I just wish she was more supportive. That’s all.

Please be advised that the following entry contains subject matter of a graphic nature. If such things offend you, I advise against reading it. (more…)